Sitting at a red light the other day on my way home from work, I found myself contemplating the nature of transitioning. How simply and effortlessly you can transition out of one stage and into another at the blink of an eye. The even flow of life can lull us to sleep and peace at times, distracting from the realization that circumstances can and are apt to change suddenly, violently, and often.  

How, at some point, Monet and I will travel to the hospital as a couple and return back home as a family. How 85 mph and the left lane of the I-95 seems normal, but in a few months 75 mph on the right sounds like a much better idea.

This past Father’s Day, I woke up to several unread texts and calls. Friends and family that were kept in the loop about our triplets sent over congratulations and well wishes. And while it should be a simple enough gesture to understand, I could not help shaking just how incongruous it all felt.

I’m used to picking up Father’s day cards much too late and struggling to get them out in the mail just in the nick of time. I’m accustomed to ordering last second gifts on Amazon and relying on Prime delivery to get them to their destination to mask my procrastination. And now, just like that, I’m part of the fraternity now. Cards and emails at my desk, presents on our front door, packages in the mail. Well wishers around almost every corner and that sudden bewilderment when I’m just about to correct someone who says “Happy Father’s Day”, only to realize that, yup, I am some little ones’ pappy. And while I certainly don’t mean to sound ungrateful, as a fairly private and unassuming person, it definitely took a minute to get accustomed to the attention.

There’s a car commercial where a young couple is leaving the hospital with their (one!) baby. The voiceover talks about how, just a few hours ago, they were “Jeff and Susan”. Now, after being kicked out of the hospital, they’re suddenly “Mom and Dad”. Mild hilarity ensues, as the dad drives super slow and shows off the cars features by trying to be super protective driving his new family home. This is literally what came to my mind every single time that I heard, “Happy Father’s day” this week.

I think I mentioned it before, where it was a little unnerving to realize that all the universal knowledge, wisdom, and secrets of all of my paternal ancestors wasn’t immediately downloaded into my cerebellum upon finding out that we were pregnant ( I’m sure I read somewhere that was supposed to happen). But the truth is, I’m ok with the fact that there’s no (official) father’s manual. It means that these paternal instincts are not digitally downloaded to new fathers. It means that the men and fathers before me had to figure it out too. And I can follow and borrow from their examples because I know and trust that they were forged by trial and error. It means that I don’t have to be flawless or perfect, or all-knowing. It means that I really can do this, because it’s already been done before. 
 


Comments

Monet Payne
06/30/2016 9:43pm

Happy Fathers day to my honey! xoxo

Reply

Celebrating Father's Day has always been a special event for me because I have the most selfless father in the world. I would give up everything for my father because he deserves to be the happiest person on Earth. I always look forward to Father's Day because I surprise my father with many gifts. I love him so much because he is always grateful for the little things like when I make him coffee or when I give him the daily newspaper. My father is a simple man and without him, I will not be who I am today. I owe him everything.

Reply
09/23/2016 11:15am

My best friend is my father and my father is fulfill my all wishes and they always tell me about right or wrong and advice me always choose right way. I love you dad and your post give me a lots of idea to wish my father.

Reply
11/02/2016 12:53am

Since Father's Day is long done, let me just describe who my dad is. My father never believed in the post credits scenes of Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. He always insisted that they only add it on the DVDs. My father liked to wear polo shirts and denim jeans for work. At weekends, he usually wears compression shirts or any old comfortable t-shirt that he has. My father taught me how to drive a car. I still have to learn how to drive a manual. My father taught us about basic engineering principles, to which I never remember. But most importantly, my father did everything that he can to provide for the family. He worked hard just so we could have a meal on our plates. And even though we sometimes do not see each other eye to eye, he is still my father. And if I ever become at least half the man that he is right now, then my future children will be truly blessed.

Reply
01/22/2017 5:18pm

I can spell hero in just three letters, it's D-A-D. I'm a certified daddy's girl. He loves to give me surprises to the point that I was already spoiled at him. He gives me all things that I wanted such as dolls, toys, etc. In return, I also surprise him by giving him cards and gifts during father's day.

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06/22/2017 6:24pm

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02/07/2017 4:09pm

Thanks for share information it is very impressive and helpful i like this post

Reply
03/25/2017 5:18pm

I came to this blog and it helped me to add few new points to my knowledge. Thank you.

Reply
04/06/2017 10:34pm

Every day should be the father's day.

Reply
04/06/2017 11:43pm

Being with your father is a blessing.

Reply
04/16/2017 11:25pm

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Reply
05/19/2017 12:10pm

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Reply
05/22/2017 8:23am

Pretty cool post. It’s really very nice and useful post.Thanks for sharing this with us!

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    About David

    Born in Georgia, and raised in South Florida, David is a finance and banking manager with a love for writing, artistic creations, athletics and youth development.  He completed a Liberal Arts and Sciences degree in Sociology at the University of Florida in 2003, and began his career in Jacksonville, FL.   His career took him to Charlotte, NC, where he met so many of his closest friends and experienced both professional and spiritual growth. Davids love for writing began as a youth, but he kept his work private, sharing his words only with closest friends and family.  He is the sole inspiration for this blog, having shared his personal experiences on the other side of infertility and the journey towards a family.  Expectant fathers are rarely given the platform or opportunity to speak about their emotional journey during pregnancy leaving their feelings and fears often unexplored. David's goal was to provide a place where both parents would be free to learn, grow, and most of all, feel safe in sharing. 

    David and Monet lead quiet lives, returning back to Florida in 2013 and becoming involved in their local AME church and fraternal organizations.  David and Monet married in 2011 and have one Dachshund named Lebron (yes, after that Lebron). They both strive for peace within their lives and their home, and love to be surrounded by family and close friends.  David and Monet both believe in miracles and God's rich blessings and they pray you enjoy this look into their experiences.

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