I know what you're thinking... That's it? Thats the whole story? I could literally write a novel about my PCOS journey. But that is not what this blog is about. It's to journal our experiences with our 3 little miracles. I can tell you this...During our journey of infertility, it felt so taboo. Like, I'm a black woman! Black women don't suffer from infertility! But the statistics were staggering. 1 in 4 couples will experience some type of infertility.  And it's not usually a "problem" until after a year or longer of trying for a baby unassisted. During this journey I learned that a myriad of black women and women in general were plagued with infertility just like me. Whether it was PCOS, fibroids or unexplained. I was not alone. BUT, it was difficult to find others like me because no one spoke of it, like me! And the depression that comes along with trying to start a family was embarrassing. Here I was, this seemingly strong woman, and I was hurting so bad. The battle-field of the mind is real.  Am I sick? Will my husband leave me? What if I can never give him a child, will he resent me forever? How do I face my friends and family who are multiplying day by day? How do I keep a smile  on my face at every pregnancy announcement after announcement? At every baby shower? I was losing myself. And my faith, I had it, but I was letting go. After all of these years, I couldn't give up. But after all of those years, it seemed as though faith  was all we had. So I held my head up, I smiled, and very few knew of this "thing" that made my heart ache.


In case you're wondering, no, I didn't go to counseling. My husband is my counselor and my rock. He has an innate gift. But for others that may be the best option, you don't want to go down that road of depression. I truly flirted with that line and David pulled me back every time. If you ever feel like you've crossed it, then I definitely would seek help.


I will never forget that time and all I went through. It's by the grace of God that I am able to write in this blog today and tell some of my story. It's funny, as time went on, I would meet people and I began to tell who was going through infertility like me. Maybe it was something they said, how they said it, or a look in their eye when a  family walked in. And in those moments, I would come out of my shell and drop off a nugget to imply that I'm going through the same thing.  And man, the flood gates that would open!! I would leave with an instant friend, and someone else praying for me, and someone else for me to pray for.  And I did. Because we both understood each other and where we've been. Every story so different, yet still the same. Some I've kept in touch with because we're connected in some way (work or socially).  Others I am not, but I'll never forget them and I pray their situation has changed. So, is it taboo to talk about infertility? No. But you can't talk about it until you're ready.
 


Comments

08/07/2016 9:03am

Grace is a gift from God. According to Amy E. Spiegel, Grace isn't just forgiveness, it is forgiveness fueled by surrender.A person may be said to be gracious who extends undeserved favors, gifts or kindnesses to others. No one is more gracious than God in extending loving kindness to those who are undeserving. In the Old Testament, God’s graciousness toward humanity was declared and demonstrated many times. . God gives us grace as a free gift, when many times we deserve the opposite. Because grace is a gift, there is nothing that we as humans can do to earn the grace of God.

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07/07/2017 2:17am

I don’t think there can be one answer for why it’s taboo to ask a person’s age. The situation is relevant to me, because my wife is 57 and 32 years older than me. This isn’t a problem until people make the connection that we’re not mother and son. Once they learn we are husband and wife, the question about her age comes into play. So, I think I’d say the question is only taboo if it is meant to make the person on the receiving end feel bad about his or her self.

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04/11/2017 7:35am

It was so interesting to follow you this journey. Well done!

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    About Monet

    Born and raised in Buffalo, NY, Monet is a classically trained musician, with a love for children and education.  Upon entry into the University of Florida in 1999, she changed from a major in Music Education to a major in Communication Sciences and Disorders with aspirations to be a Speech-Language Pathologist.  She completed post-graduate work at The State University of New York - University at Buffalo (SUNY-UB) in 2005 with a Master's in Speech Pathology.  She then began her career in educationally-based Speech/Language therapy, working in Gainesville, FL; Charlotte, NC; and now Rockledge, FL.  Monet also works privately as a Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist.  
    Monet's inspiration for writing began with a dream in writing a music appreciation book geared at children, and was further inspired by her journey towards motherhood.  She and David hope you enjoy their blog, and that it will inspire other women, of all races and ethnicities to seek help if needed in their journey, and to not hide behind societal or social norms and influences. It is difficult to speak up and out about personal matters, but its easier when you have a team of family and friends on your side to support you along the way.  Many blessings and please comment throughout the posts.  

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